An Extremely Hesitant Kiss to Build a SCENE On

by | Mar 3, 2010 | Fiction Book Reviews | 14 comments

Okay, this isn’t easy.

Over the past two months I’ve received writing feedback from two contests and three authors. Good advice, but another heavy reminder that I have a LOOONG way to go in my writing world. Sigh.

Dear me, it can be potent and painful. A much needed lesson – and most of those types of lessons are painful 🙂

So, since I hope to hear from one more author before the week is out, I thought I’d share two kissing scenes from my wips.

This particular scene is a young woman experiencing her first kiss. A secret Protestant during King Henry VIII reign, Julia tries to smuggle scripture from the Tyndal Bibles within her artwork.  When she is kidnapped by her father’s enemies, her faith transforms the entire family and awakens her heart, not only to romantic love, but to the joy of being part of a family.

So anyway….

Here is my excerpt from The Tyndal Fire

           “You saved my life.” His gaze roamed her face, his eyes tender, inviting her closer. “You risked yours to save mine.”

        “Well, one good deed deserves another, don’t you think?” Her voice sounded strange to her ears. Breathless. What did he do to her?

         “It was my duty to protect you. I am your guardian while you are here.”

           She stiffened. ‘Guardian’ was the last word she would use to define him, so she challenged his words with a lift of her chin. “Duty? It was my honor to rescue you, for you are…” Her tongue faltered on the confession. What was she doing? Her father’s enemy?

            Her eyes drifted closed, away from the distraction his  gaze had on her mental clarity. He was her captor. The very man who’d kidnapped her weeks ago. How could she possibly wish…

             His fingers slid down her cheek, soft and warm, a caress like none she’d ever felt before – and certainly not one of a guardian. She could barely draw in a breath as the warmth from his touch traveled over her  face. He was so near, his breath fanned over her chin.

             She lifted her eyes to his and -yet again -he was her captor, except in a different way from before. His fingers stopped on her chin and held her still, but she couldn’t have moved should she have wanted to. His transformation was fascinating. Gone was the fearsome, furious warrior, the angry fighter, and in his place came a gentle lover, touching her as if she was a rare treasure. No one had ever looked at her with such love. She wanted to bask in it until it warmed all the barren places in her heart and shadowed all other feeling. And it did.

               Her body came alive to his touch, cascades of warmth radiated  from his fingertips through the center of her body. The amber glint of firelight inside his dark eyes emulated the fire growing in the depths of her soul. Hotter. Brighter. Nearly suffocating her. Would she be consumed by it? 

            “I’d like to kiss you, Julia.”

            Her gaze locked on his mouth. A kiss? From him? She tried to reply, but her words stuck like cotton in the roof of her mouth.  She was stepping onto a ledge, willingly diving into a place from which she could never return.

       There was no preparation for this need to be near him, this internal warmth radiating through her as if her very skin was alight with a rosy hue. His face drew so close her vision blurred. She couldn’t move. Could barely think.

His lips felt soft and feather-light and yet, their touch  quaked through her until she was  consumed and shaking. This was a kiss? How did anyone survive more than one? Her entire soul was aflame.

Geoffrey drew back, his fingers sliding down her neck to her collar bone. He stared at her lips for so long, she felt kissed all over again. “Julia.”

Her hand tightened around his arm of its own accord, her throat working to make sounds into words. “Would you…”

He arched an ebony brow, his gaze darkening.

She swallowed and steadied her voice. “I could do better with a second try.”

A rare glimpse of his full smile rewarded her, followed by his lips.


  1. Edwina Cowgill

    Well, I don’t know what those judges were looking for…’cause this is one hot kissin’ scene!! Whew!!

    • Pepper

      You are sweetness itself. Thanks a bundle. I’m learning – and I LOOOOVE writing kissing scenes. I’m going to try for a funny one tommorrow…maybe. If I”m brave enough 🙂

  2. sherrinda

    OH MERCY! Someone douse me with a fire hose! Goodness, girl! That was soooo good! You have such a beautiful way of sharing your character’s feelings. It’s like poetry…only better. LOVE IT!

    • Pepper

      LOL, Sherrinda, my agent doesn’t call it ‘poetic’, instead he says ‘flowery and too wordy.” When used too much ‘poetic’ is TOO MUCH. That’s one of the areas in which I need to grow…er…I mean lessen. Hmm…become more concise 😉 So when poetic comes along, it’s special, not overdone. Thanks so much.

  3. Melanie Dickerson

    Oooh la la, Pepper! LOVE THIS! This is totally great. Can’t wait to read the whole book!

    • Pepper

      Thanks, Melanie. It’s right around your special time-period, isn’t it? 😉 I have a burning at the stake in this book. Tough. AND an AWESOME rescue. I get breathless at the thought

  4. Julie

    Dear Lord, Pepper, you must have been taking copious notes these last three weeks, because that was one HOT kiss, my friend!! And not just the kiss, but the writing is outstanding too … TRULY!

    Especially love the line: This was a kiss? How did anyone survive more than one?

    OH, YEAH!!!! I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again … you aren’t long for Unpubbed Island, my friend!


    • Pepper

      Your encouragement is invaluable. I think your writing is superb, so to receive such a wonderful compliment from you really tickles me. I hope, I hope…but I’ll keep writing and learning. That’s one of the fun, and hard parts.

  5. laura frantz

    Very well done, Pepper! Wow! I think you have kissing scenes nailed:) No kidding! Encore, encore…

  6. Casey

    Wonderful, wonderful Pepper! I can’t wait to read another one. I love how it is slow and gentle, really drawing the reader into the moment. I CAN’T WAIT to see your book on the book store shelves. 😀 (and there is more tomorro….riiiiighhhhhtttttt???????)

    • Pepper

      You are a SWEETHEART. You did get the news that you won Laura’s new book, right?

      If I’m brave enough I plan to put a humorous ‘closet’ kiss in tomorrow. Julie knows the one I mean. She read it for me 🙂

  7. cate tuten

    Pepper! I admire you girl!!! You have a passion for Romance Writing, that is obvious…And you are doing something about it. Keep working….You will get there, and then the world of Christian Romance will be blessed with your books……Blessings, Cate

  8. Jennifer

    Wow, that was a great kiss!!! Please tell me there will be more of their story to enjoy!!!! Thanks for sharing! : )

  9. Casey

    Hi Pepper! 🙂 YES, I did see I won Laura’s book, I was SO excited- thank you (and I have already heard from her. :))

    I can’t wait to see what you produce tomorrow!


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